It's 2016...another year...and another moment of anxiety--you're feeling like you want this year to be different...but you don't know how to make it happen. After all you tried last year…and maybe the year before. Maybe you feel like you (still) don’t have the time. You may even feel like you don’t deserve it…yet. (Those are the things I'm hearing from people anyway.)
Step away from the overwhelm. I’m here to show you how.
HINT: You don't have to change everything in your life to make 2016 your best year and best YOU, yet.
Think of the times in your life when you did achieve something? Chances are you followed a system or a script, you gave yourself the time to complete, and you went into it knowing you were going to get something of real personal value out of it.
Or think about the last time you got your kid to do something that was hard but necessary? You probably scheduled the time, possibly got a mentor or tutor, and they followed a course or lesson plan.
Or how about when you need to get things done at work...you schedule the project out, create your timeline and get the help you need to finish it. And usually you use a template from a past project or you find the one that will work for this specific project
So then...how can you expect to create meaningful and lasting transformation in your life (because that's the kind you are waiting for) without following some kind of system?
Can You Plan Transformation?
HINT: Everyone Struggles with the Same Things.
A tiny bit of background here…if you don’t know me, I worked for 20+ years in traditional mental health and for most of it, I knew my clients needed deeper healing. I sought out some energy work training and then—something totally crazy for a small town girl from VA—I studied and was initiated into an indigenous African healing system that I now incorporate into the healing setting with my clients.
Now I’m not telling you this to weird the bajesus out of you. I’m telling you this because I realized that, whether I was working with clients in deep emotional crisis, or with those in a crisis of the spirit, there were really just a few areas of self development where nearly everyone I worked with was struggling. Perhaps, you do too.
- Not going for (or not going to the right places) for guidance, including their intuition.
- Not ‘feeling their feelings,’ and having difficulty discerning which emotion they were feeling.
- Not being ‘in their bodies.’
- Being triggered and stuck in stories that were no longer serving their optimal health.
- Getting stopped or thrown off course by transition and change.
Do any of those sound familiar to you?
Tackle the process of your process.
You can’t go from zero to Healing! But you can easily start the process of healing in five areas of self development.
Take Five Mini-Steps…Into 2016
If you are mistrustful of internal guidance, meaning your inner knowing and intuition; or external guidance, like signs and info from the RIGHT sources- then you could be missing crucial insights to inform your empowering decision making process. When you trust and rely on yourself, you add velocity and vitality to your life.
MINI STEP: Stop listening to ONE person.
Give yourself permission to STOP taking advice from ONE PERSON in your life whose words and actions are not in sync with your inner knowing. By taking this step you begin to fill your life with healthy people who see, hear and support you...until that’s all your life is filled with.
Emotions are the most reliable indicators of how things are going in your life. But when your feelings cause too much pain, you may numb out and shut them off; or become overwhelmed by fear, anger or rage, and shut down; or you may shut other people out. No one survives in a toxic environment. You cause distance between yourself and what your emotions are trying to tell you, and you put distance between yourself and other people.
MINI STEP: Don’t go it alone.
Expand your emotional vocabulary.
When you are able to express yourself effectively you gain insight into what’s really going on in order to do the productive work to improve it. When you can express yourself effectively with others-you generate empathy, which draws people into your life.
Find the sweet spot in your Relational Value. Which = being clear on knowing yourself, and being aware of how you are known and valued by other important people. Hurts in this area effect your sense of self worth. Healing in this area adds gravitas and integrity to your life allowing you to be present for the opportunities that are presented to you.
MINI STEP: Take one thing OFF your TO DO list.
Is your TO DO list more like a TO DON'T list because it's way too long? Is it a reason for you to beat up on yourself because you are ‘not getting everything accomplished?’ Or because you're comparing yourself to others? Take a look and see how many items are on there for other people...or where you’re doing something because you ‘have to’…or because someone might not like you if you don't do it. What can you take off in order to up your Relational Value with yourself? Better yet, replace that item with something that truly nurtures YOU.
Your communication is developed in your past. It's one of those pesky patterns that limits you in the present. The past is set and rigid. So are words like Always, Never, and Constantly. These words offer few exceptions and, little play in your reactions. They make you defensive, not fluid, empathetic or inspired. They don’t offer a way forward, only back into the past. There is a path to your purpose: this is creating detours.
MINI STEP: Break a pattern.
How does “You always….” or “You never…” make you feel? If you have a new relationship in your life- use it to practice a different way of communicating. Notice if this relationship turns out different than all the others. Notice if the interaction and outcome are more fluid, productive and inspiring. Taking this step can improve your communication and even the consistency and quality of your relationships.
Do transitions try you or transform you? Understanding how you move through change (or not so much) is a tell about your ability to manifest on a conscious and consistent basis.
MINI STEP: Create a clearing.
Think about a clearing in a forest. You, my friend, manifest from that same type of clearing inside of you- that open, fertile, space, clear of debris or distraction. Create a (symbolic) clearing in your life. You know how good it feels to clean out your closet, car or to tidy up your workspace? You create a blank slate, a fresh canvas, a clearing for possibility. Break your routine today and clean something out! Do it with the intention that you are clearing out stale energy, clearing a space for inspiration, to play and vision. Release attachment to outcomes (no you don’t really need that: insert item here.) Bring only what you need to the moment and task at hand. Pure creation. Knowing how you guide yourself through known or unexpected changes, will be one of the most useful keys to living a self empowered life.
Hopefully, it will now be easier for you to let go of the “Zero to Healing” self-improvement resolution you're about to set for 2016. Now you know you can easily start the process of your healing with 5 mini-steps that will make immediate changes in your life TODAY! And you can greet 2016 (…and your next partner, job or project) with confidence & clarity.
I can't wait for you to get transformation going in your life! Would you like a personal Transformational Roadmap for 2016? If you would like my help implementing any of these changes on a permanent basis, do this first: book a FREE 60-minute Transformation planning session. We will dig in to see why you aren't already making these changes in your life, and we will map out your Transformational Roadmap for 2016.
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