I was recently so blessed to have an extended visit last week with my friend, teacher and mentor, Sobonfu Somé
We had several meals together in my home, and before each one, it was another person’s turn to say the Blessing. When it was my turn, before Tuesday night’s dinner, apparently I shot out of the gate and rushed right through it.
“Susan,” Sobonfu said quietly next to me, “before you pray, I want you to breathe five times.”
If you have been following along, you know I’m #Fire. I have a tendency to rush (too) quickly to the finish line. I’m big picture. I’m often at the end of something before I have barely begun. Sometimes this works for me, like when I have an idea for my business. And when there are people around me who will fill in the details and the plan (like my #Earth business partner.)
Now, of course rushing through a prayer (especially if you are hungry!) isn’t going to be life altering.
But when we are about to make a big decision, or engage in a project or a relationship- if we don’t have anyone around us to say…’stop for a minute and take a breath,’ or, ‘I’ll take it from here;’ or if we are in pain, or distracted, we may be rushing past our guides and the signs and information they want (and need) us to have.
In 2009, I needed to have neck surgery on two vertebrae. I had been in level 10+ pain for way too long (being-rushed-to-the-ER-for-injections-on-more-than-one-occasion-kind-of-pain). I didn’t read the fine print in the paperwork. And I didn’t ask anyone else to do that for me either. I missed that one of the options during the surgery would be to use cadaver bones, if the prosthetic bones were too large.
I got cadaver bones. And then I got breast cancer.
What was really weird about it was that…instinctually I knew that this wasn’t my cancer…I kept telling people, ‘this isn’t my cancer.’ But I didn’t yet know why. When I went into a bookstore and was drawn to a book on the shelf…I learned that there was new research that had discovered you could in fact get someone else’s cancer from their cadaver bones.
But wait…if you can believe it…there is more to this story. (And it also has to do with intuition.)
My ‘neck’ pain, was actually being caused by…my thumb. I had a mis/undiagnosed rare Glioma cyst. And looking back I can be certain in saying that instinctually I knew my pain was from my thumb and not from my neck. But I rushed past my intuition into neck surgery when I was repeatedly told it absolutely-in-no-way-could-be-caused-by-my-thumb.
The moral of the story?
We can rush through our prayers and ‘get away with it’ when the stakes aren’t so very high. But when we are going for the big decisions, we need to read the signs. We need to know who to trust, rely and lean on- and then we need to rely and lean on them. And we have to answer to our intuition- which is one way our guides feed us information.
Sometimes it’s as small as messing up a prayer. Sometimes it’s as big as creating a snowball rites of passage that could have gone another way…(getting cancer and having to survive it). But it’s always about staying on your path- and allowing your guides to keep you in alignment with the GIFTS you were born to live out in the world- your own unique life purpose.