Ever heard that song, "I'm Going to Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Letter?" In it, a lovelorn writer sits to pen a letter "filled with words so sweet" that he or she then "makes believe" it came from their Beloved.
What if we didn't have to pretend with ourselves or our Beloved's, or our family and friends, what we want and need in our personal relationships? What if we didn't have to settle, argue, or back down/suck it up in our relationships, because we haven't or can't clearly communicated our needs?
Welcome to our weekly explainer series on the Dagara Medicine Wheel. Each week we show you how one of its five distinct energies called Elements transforms, clears, amps up, or balances the energies in your own life. This week’s #Mineral Medicine brings in: Connection to Ancient Wisdom, Communication and Stories.
This week we are going to 'sit right down' with ourselves and #Mineral energy to call in clarity around communicating what, without a shadow of a doubt:
- we know we need to be loved,
- we know we need to feel supported by love, and,
- we know we need to be seen and heard by the people we love.
Have you ever sat down to write out exactly what you would want (and need) to have on that list? Maybe, some of the items will surprise you. I invite you to participate in this empowering and enlightening exercise.
Sit down with yourself right now, and pen a love letter...to yourself.
What do you know you need to be loved? Do you need to be told..? Or shown..? Exactly what does that look like? If you are in a relationship you can write it from that perspective. Does it look like one person picking the kids up an extra time during the week? Or does it look like your partner picking their socks up before being told to do so? Get specific. You might learn something about yourself that you can now productively act on it. For example, maybe you know you need time to reflect on the decisions you make, but you haven't ever specially communicated that. Going forward, you can ask for fifteen (or fifty) minutes to 'get back to your partner' versus having them feel you are 'have stopped being communicative' or you have 'shut down' or 'shut them out.'
You don't have to be in a relationship to do this exercise. In fact first and foremost, you need to be able to tell yourself what you need, and then you need to create the space and ways to honor those needs. Do you need fifteen (or fifty) minutes a day to tune out and recharge, but there is a story you replay that says, 'that's being lazy,' or 'you aren't working hard enough?' Agree with yourself that taking a walk around the block, or reading a trashy magazine for a bit is perfectly ok with you. Make a new agreement with yourself. If you agree with you, and if it works for you, it's nobody else's business!
What shift would you create in your life if you told yourself the things you wanted to hear...and then you showed yourself you had the courage, commitment, caring and concern to act on those things for you?
And after you write your letter, try this: Thank yourself for the things you are starting to do for you. What better way to feel loved, supported and seen?
P.S. If you want (we got this part from Jennifer Halls at You Know, Thanks, Jennifer!) you can even mail the letter to yourself, or ask a friend to do so when they feel like you might need it.
P. P. S. Stay tuned later in the week for our video installment of the Mineral Tip of the Week with Susan Hough.
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