Tips For Listening

Sometimes the practical things that Sobonfu has taught me have taken time to deepen- in me, and in my life. For those of you who don't know who Sobonfu Somé is (you should I was initiated in her Ritual Healing Village in the early 2000’s- and use this indigenous wisdom in my coaching work today.

Her people the Dagara believe that each of us has a unique gift to give to our community, and therefore to our world.

I realize, I too have believed this through out my life. I was fortunate to grow up in a small community as a child and I experienced it first hand. A small community, your family and neighborhood (if you were or are lucky enough to grow up in one) does support you more than our larger ones, including society and even our culture.

That is why I am speaking up today. We have to create community more consciously than ever before. We live separated from one another in this day and age, including our families as we grow up and move for jobs and careers.

Hours, days, even continents separate us. We are doing it in new ways; Facebook/Skype etc. But I do believe that our soul’s need connection, in order to be our biggest and highest selves.  

We need that connection and support. We need to be able to be honest with what is going on in our everyday life, especially when, and because the smaller everyday things can become big things in of our lives; bigger pains, bigger griefs, that can overwhelm us.

Sometimes all we need is to have a moment with a friend(s), just to talk about a frustration so it doesn’t become bigger.  It is amazing that when I take the time to talk to a friend about an issue big or small, just someone listening, allows my issue to become clearer and less significant.  It gives me a place to let it go, or see it from a different perspective. The issue then takes up less space in my body.

Today listen to a friend. And I mean listen.

Tips for listening:

Sometimes trying to fix an issue doesn’t allow the person you are listening to, to heal. Wait to see if they want you to respond. Sobonfu has taught me that just creating a sacred space to speak (a container) is a huge healing that we can give to one another. Sometimes hugging or speaking before they finish doesn’t allow the flow of the healing to be completed.

So first just listen.  Let us take a moment today to listen to a friend or colleague. You may be giving them an amazing healing without even knowing it.